Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Brave Waters

I thought you had left my heart completely, but just as the wale was closing up to heal, we clawed to get it flowing again. The atoms of our bodies were pulsing when we finally touched. When I saw you standing there, hips pushed forwards, it was like a sighting of a rare bird. Exciting but not wanting to startle because of the amount of energy my happiness released in that moment. The span of time we've spent apart was reduced to less than seconds, you placed your palm on my sternum. In particle physics, once two electrons, neutrons, protons of any element comes into contact with each other they are intrinsically linked. Even over the space of the entire universe, the two particles share the connection infinitely and indefinitely. They can never not have touched each other. They can never not have a shared past. 

Sunday, April 3, 2016

Today

I've been wearing a vintage red silk kimono all day. It's short, thigh high, and I've taken a shower and bath. Everything has me feeling all mixed up and open but sweet and vulnerable at the same time. I am an artist. I am a listener to small birds chirping and a watcher of waves on the shore. It's scary thinking about being just a person in the world, a person who has no impact, a person who will not leave her mark. But I am here staccato typing my consciousness on to this screen. I'll get caught up and worried in the strangest places and start to wonder if there is something else brighter out there for me.

I am with you because you aren't afraid to throw away my used tampon applicators and you let me order first at a restaurant.  I am here because we are earthly scholars studying the weather patterns and forgetting to rake the yard. I'd let everything overgrow if I could, but I always end up tidying in the end. I would live in a shack with a yard full of wildflowers, always wearing chiffon and home-dying my hair, but I always get to chicken and run back to conventional life.  And in all seriousness, fuck that life.

I once thought I could go on and on in the wagon wheel of life and work. But I want to live, I want to write.