Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Post-Election

Amidst my own positive messages of self healing and encouraging those closest to me to keep in the light, underneath it all is a subterranean sadness I feel for the American people. We are all a people of color. Where boys can paint on their eyebrows and ladies grow beards. We blend genders, races, ethnicities, ideals, values, religions, music, messages, and identities with the underlying message that we are all worthy of living on this sacred Earth. There is a place here for everyone, even as we seek to forgive those who voted in hatred to our highest office. May we surround them with light as we seek to destroy their limited view of our worthiness. May we sharpen our intuition to offer guidance to our young. May we rise up in mindful revolt to reject the narrow minded. And in our rejection, may we offer them healing as they have been wronged, too, so deeply by our capitalist and greedy society. Today, play patty-cake with a grown adult, look into their face and notice the beautiful color of their eyes. The Divine is here, within us. Let us glow together. 

Friday, June 3, 2016

Harvard; I want you

I have listened to the Harvard School of Education 2016 spoken word graduation speech only once. It was on an airplane back from New York. The plane was bigger than the usual one and I had the row to myself. I was later thankful for that because I enjoyed my chill bumps and tears privately as I watched him speak. For now, I cannot remember is name.

I reply back to him:

We exchange energy when we educate. Learning is a human business; a social art. It's not content work it's context work. Schools are institutions both spiritual and scholastic. I do not know how to disconnect the two. As teacher and student come together in the cosmic dance, gravity is there, but so are the individual masses of the knowledge both humans hold close. The electricity is allowed as both adult and child are free to open their currents to each other. Sure, there may be spark. Sure, there may be light. But more importantly there is connection and exchange in truly informative interactions. Teachable moments are transformative and they are conductors transferring the heat of knowledge to anyone within proximity. 

Nightly Premonitons

Recently I've had two vivid dreams. I'll tell them to you now, what I can remember. In the first, that happened a few nights ago, I lay on my side, pregnant, in a nondescript hospital gown. I was on a gurney. The perspective of the dream switched between my view and an onlooker into the room. I saw myself give birth to a plain human child and then a few minutes later, to the placenta. This all happened without excitement and the midwife said "Here comes the placenta". During the placenta delivery, I felt the drop in my own stomach and canal, like the release of dam water over a stone wall. I looked to my full breasts and they were already lactating a thick milk, I asked for my child; but when it came to me it was only a doll. As I latched the doll to my nipple, it became alive. Unlatched, a doll. This was the end of the first dream.

The next dream happened with a man in my distant past who also now occupies a slender but full part of my present. He sat with me in a diner, over brewed coffee. His brown eyes were fixed on me and they were releasing tears, but he was not sad. He had come to tell me he was getting married, finally, to someone who had more prominent eye brows than myself, that I always had his heart since 14, that I was always welcome in his life. I remember saying that I was so, so happy for him. I lied. 

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Brave Waters

I thought you had left my heart completely, but just as the wale was closing up to heal, we clawed to get it flowing again. The atoms of our bodies were pulsing when we finally touched. When I saw you standing there, hips pushed forwards, it was like a sighting of a rare bird. Exciting but not wanting to startle because of the amount of energy my happiness released in that moment. The span of time we've spent apart was reduced to less than seconds, you placed your palm on my sternum. In particle physics, once two electrons, neutrons, protons of any element comes into contact with each other they are intrinsically linked. Even over the space of the entire universe, the two particles share the connection infinitely and indefinitely. They can never not have touched each other. They can never not have a shared past. 

Sunday, April 3, 2016

Today

I've been wearing a vintage red silk kimono all day. It's short, thigh high, and I've taken a shower and bath. Everything has me feeling all mixed up and open but sweet and vulnerable at the same time. I am an artist. I am a listener to small birds chirping and a watcher of waves on the shore. It's scary thinking about being just a person in the world, a person who has no impact, a person who will not leave her mark. But I am here staccato typing my consciousness on to this screen. I'll get caught up and worried in the strangest places and start to wonder if there is something else brighter out there for me.

I am with you because you aren't afraid to throw away my used tampon applicators and you let me order first at a restaurant.  I am here because we are earthly scholars studying the weather patterns and forgetting to rake the yard. I'd let everything overgrow if I could, but I always end up tidying in the end. I would live in a shack with a yard full of wildflowers, always wearing chiffon and home-dying my hair, but I always get to chicken and run back to conventional life.  And in all seriousness, fuck that life.

I once thought I could go on and on in the wagon wheel of life and work. But I want to live, I want to write.